i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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