he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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