My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
