Will you blow on my dice?
I am spending my child support on dildos
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
