Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize
