Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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