Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
