Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Who died my cat blue again?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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