I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
