So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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