I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
