Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
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