Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
