the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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