I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We don't watch enough power rangers
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
