I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
