I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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