There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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