She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He's on the porch naked. Help.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
