Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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