WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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