i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
