I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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