brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
