Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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