At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
