So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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