i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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