you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
