did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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