I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
