And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
