READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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