Christians are straight up FREAKS
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
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