Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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