I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
