I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
