Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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