The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
