why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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