I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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