I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
