3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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