I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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