If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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