I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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