I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
