She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Bring me that man meat
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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