Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
