I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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