What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
