***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have grass duct taped all over my body
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
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