i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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