Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
