I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
