I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
