i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
