You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
