eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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